It is a break-time lark-about at primary school crossed with a Club 18-30 holiday, the Radio One road show, the Sports Illustrated swimwear issue, Trooping the Colour, a 1950s seaside postcard and one of those weird Italian topless chat shows. It is more like a kiddy sandpit in the park than an Olympic court and one can’t help worrying that there might be the odd concealed dog poo — especially when the ladies are diving headlong to save a marginal smash.

Giles Coren watches women’s beach volleyball at Horse Guards Parade. Read more

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